It's Nothing Personal Read online

  Inside the hospital, Jenna crossed the window-encased bridge on her way to the operating rooms with her head hung low. Passing a set of chairs and a table along the wall, Jenna spotted at a pile of copies of the Tribune. Her heart stopped. The headline appeared in the boldest font of any other text on the cover, “Doc Defies Rules Regarding Narcotics.”

  To Jenna, this was clearly as malicious as it could get.

  Grabbing a copy of the paper, she ran into the women’s locker room. It was empty. Jenna picked up the phone, bracing one hand in the other in order to steady her fingers, and dialed Tom. He answered immediately. Jenna’s voice was barely more than a whisper, broken by gulps for air.

  “It’s on the front page!”

  “What?”

  “It’s on the fucking front page of the Tribune. Top story. Bold print.”

  “Oh God, Jenna! I’m so sorry. Are you going to make it through the day?”

  Jenna heard the locker room door creak open.

  “I have to. Someone’s coming. I’ve gotta go.”

  Jenna swiftly hid the paper in her bag and stepped into a bathroom stall. Sitting on the toilet, she buried her head in her hands hoping to muffle the sounds of her sobs. Eventually, her tears ran dry, and Jenna left to prepare for her first case.

  To Jenna’s relief, her operating room was temporarily unoccupied. She entered and moved glumly to the head of the bed. Jenna stared at the anesthesia machine as if it were a foreign object. A few minutes later, Jody, the circulating nurse, walked into the operating room. Her arms were loaded with supplies. Jenna glanced up and feebly attempted a friendly smile.

  “Hey, Dr. R. What’s shaking?” Jody asked.

  Jenna was unable to speak. Tears stung her face as she tossed the newspaper toward the nurse.

  Jody grasped the paper and read the first portion of the article. Shaking her head in disgust, she dropped the paper on the operating room table and walked over to Jenna.

  Putting her arm around Jenna’s shoulder, Jody asked, “Do you think you should be here?”

  Jenna answered bitterly, “No, I don’t. But we are short-staffed today, and there’s nobody to cover for me.”

  Rubbing Jenna’s arm, Jody said, “Well, somehow we’ll get you through this. I’ll have your back, all day. If you want to talk, we can talk. If you want me to keep the conversation away from you, I’ll do that, too.”

  “Thank you,” said Jenna, grateful for the kindness. “I don’t want anybody to talk to me. If you could keep the conversation on the other side of the drape, that would be great.”

  “You got it.”

  Before Jenna could face her first patient, she had one more call to make. Jenna phoned her office manager, Julia.

  Upon hearing Jenna’s voice, Julia said, “Dr. Reiner, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

  Jenna gulped, amazed at how fast the news of her tragedy had spread.

  “Thanks. Look, I know it’s our busy time of year, but I need the rest of the week off. I shouldn’t even be here today. Can you make that happen?”

  “Consider it done.”

  CHAPTER 53

  Apprehensively, Jenna walked into the preoperative area to meet her first patient. As her colleagues noticed her presence, conversations ceased. In the silence, Jenna felt the enormity of their collective judgment. Marching directly into her first patient’s room, Jenna pulled the door closed behind her. For a moment, it dawned on her how disheveled she must look. Her eyelids were swollen, her nose red, and her hair untamed. The patient, consumed by her own anxiety, did not appear to notice.

  Mid-morning, between cases, Katharine Harper walked into Jenna’s operating room. Jenna fiddled with her equipment, attempting to look busy. Katharine knew better. Jenna was hiding out.

  “I just read the article,” Katharine said sadly.

  Jenna unleashed. “Now do you see why I am so upset? It’s a bunch of lies, but the people who read the paper don’t know that. The article makes me look like some callous, ignorant, reckless bitch! I’ve read the comments posted online. People I have never met are calling me lazy, heartless, and negligent. They think I’m a criminal, for Christ’s sake!”

  It crushed Katharine to witness the pain she had brought upon her friend, but Jenna’s anger gave Katharine hope.

  Grabbing Jenna by the arm, Katharine commanded, “You have to fight this! You cannot settle! You’d never be able to live with yourself. Do you hear what I’m saying?”

  Jenna nodded. “I came to the same conclusion the moment I read the article.”

  Katharine was thankful Keith Jones’ plan had backfired. Instead of breaking Jenna, the media coverage had given her new strength and determination.

  Jenna pulled the crumpled newspaper out of her bag and waved it at her friend. “This article was fully intended to pressure me. Well, screw them, because their ruthless tactic failed. I did want to settle. I wanted this to go away. My biggest fear was this story making the press. Now it has. There’s nothing more they can do to hurt me. There’s no way I’m backing down now.”

  Katharine started to respond, but stopped as Jody wheeled the next patient into the operating room. Jenna methodically administered anesthesia, and Katharine slipped out of the room. Once the patient was unconscious and the surgical drapes were up, Jenna hid behind them and wept. Out of respect, no one in the operating room acknowledged Jenna’s sniffles or tried to engage her in conversation.

  By early afternoon, Jenna managed to finish her cases. On her drive to meet with Jim and Nancy, her pager went off.

  She moaned, “Please, leave me alone.” Unclipping the pager from her waist, Jenna read the message. It was Julia’s number from her office. Reluctantly, Jenna called her back. As soon as Julia answered, she said, “Hello, Dr. Reiner. Dr. Wilson wants to talk to you. He’s sitting right here.”

  Before Jenna could assemble her thoughts, Rob Wilson was on the phone. “Hi, Jenna. I just wanted to see how you were doing?”

  “Not Good.” Jenna could barely speak. Once again, she lost her composure. Her emotional instability was exhausting.

  Rob continued, “I’m so sorry about the article. I just wanted to call and check on you. I also wanted to make sure you know the corporation and the anesthesia department stand behind you. We all recognize that the article is full of fabrications and distortions, and no one thinks differently of you. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Where are you now?” Rob asked. “Are you still at the hospital?”

  Jenna stared blindly out the windshield. “I’m headed to my attorneys’ office.”

  “Could you call me when you’re done?”

  Normally, Jenna would obediently accommodate her superior’s requests, but this one made no sense to her. There was a point where Jenna had nothing else to give, and she had reached it.

  “Rob, I really appreciate your call and your kind words. If your reason for calling was to offer me your sympathy, I am extremely grateful. If there’s another reason, I’d rather deal with it right now.”

  Rob, stunned by Jenna’s uncharacteristic boldness, paused for a moment.

  “Listen Jenna, I’m sorry to ask this of you, but we really need you to work tomorrow. We are overbooked, and we are going to have to give cases away if we can’t get them covered. I really hate to ask this of you, but could you do two short orthopedics cases tomorrow morning? That’s all we need.”

  Jenna grunted, “Fine,” and hung up. She knew this was a command, disguised as a request. All she wanted was to hide from the world, but so far, the world would not allow it.

  CHAPTER 54

  Jenna sat across from her lawyers. Her voice sounded like shattering crystals. It reflected her state of mind.

  “Why? Why would this come out now? The very day I go back to work after vacation?”

  Jim and Nancy appeared nearly as shaken and surprised as their client. The article in the Tribune was one of the most vicious attacks on a physician either of them had witness
ed during their careers.

  Nancy spoke, “It’s an obvious pressure tactic. I’m not sure how this story made it past the editors of the Tribune, but it did. It’s a blatant one-sided attack against you.

  “And the fact that they waited to publish it until you got back into town seems an unlikely coincidence. Anders must have obtained your vacation itinerary. She wanted to make sure you were in town so the article would have maximum impact.”

  Jenna snapped back, “Well, can I sue the Tribune? They took words from my deposition and printed them out of context. Isn’t that slander?”

  Nancy shook her head. “I spent the entire morning analyzing this article. Every single word they printed can be supported either by your deposition or other records. Newspapers know the game. They are very cognizant of exactly how far they can push the boundaries. Unfortunately, there’s nothing in the article that would support a lawsuit.”

  “So yet again, I’m the one who gets screwed,” Jenna fired back.

  Jim said sadly, “I can appreciate that you feel that way.”

  Jenna had more clarity than she had all day. For the moment, she had no urge to cry. Her hands remained shaky, but she made no attempt to hide her tremor from her attorneys. After a day like this, she felt entitled to look, act, and say anything she wanted.

  Confidently, Jenna declared, “There will be no settlement. I want to revoke my consent to settle, effective immediately. We’re going all the way.”

  Jim fixated on Jenna. “Are you absolutely sure?”

  Jenna stared back. “Absolutely. Anders’ little game was unsuccessful. I’m sure she intended to disgrace me, which she did. She also aimed to terrorize me and weaken me to the point that I’d do anything she or Michelle Hollings wanted. That’s where she misjudged me. I’ve spent my entire life backing down and being belittled by people like her. Not this time! If I don’t do this for me, then I’ll do it for my daughter. How can I expect Mia to respect me and look to me as her role model, if I back down to this? All I want to know is, where do we go from here?”

  Jim said, “I know today’s been rough for you. This isn’t a decision you have to make right now. I have to be honest. A month ago, you came in here and completely broke down. Now you’re saying you’re ready to go to trial again? I want to make sure you think things through. It’s going to get ugly, and we have to know that you have the strength to persevere.”

  Miffed by Jim’s words, Jenna felt her lawyers did not completely trust her. She knew it was time to act like an adult. Whether she truly felt strong and self-confident was irrelevant. She needed to portray that image to Jim and Nancy.

  Jenna said defiantly, “I will not let you down. I give you my word. I also will not settle. So, again, I’m asking, where do we go from here?”

  Her determination eased Jim’s doubts slightly, but he was still troubled by her emotional state.

  Jim said, “First of all, we recommend that you obtain personal counsel.”

  “Personal counsel? What’s that?”

  “It’s an attorney you hire to protect you. It’s someone whose sole interest is in your well being.”

  “What do you mean, someone who is looking out for my best interests? Isn’t that what you guys do?”

  Jim replied, “We do look out for your best interests, as far as the case is concerned. But your malpractice carrier employs us. Ultimately, we answer to Randy Stevens. There may be things that come up where our hands are tied on what advice we can give you because of our obligation to Randy. That’s when it’s in your best interest to have your own private attorney. When we hit bumps along the road where we think you should consult your personal counsel, we’ll advise you of such. This is all to protect you.”

  Jenna focused on maintaining her composure.

  “Is this something that’s covered by my malpractice policy?”

  “Unfortunately, no. But the people we would recommend are reasonably priced. At the most, it should cost a couple thousand dollars.”

  “Okay. That’s fine. I’ll do whatever it takes. How soon do I need to do this?”

  Jim replied without hesitation, “Immediately. We’ll give you a short list of names. The one I’d recommend most highly is Walter Morey. We’ve referred people to him before. He’s been very accessible, helpful, and reasonable.”

  “Well, let’s go with him. I trust your recommendation.”

  Nancy stood and said, “I’ll go get his contact info.”

  As Nancy walked out, Jim said, “I’ll contact him and let him know to expect your call tomorrow. If he’s unavailable, I’ll get in touch with you tonight and give you another name.”

  Nancy returned with Walter Morey’s contact information written neatly on a sheet of yellow legal paper.

  Jenna said, “I’ll get in touch with him tomorrow. What else do we need to do? Shouldn’t I sign something that officially revokes my consent for settlement?”

  Jim answered, “For right now, Jenna, go home. Get some sleep. Talk this over with your husband, and call Walter. We will not proceed with any further settlement negotiations for now. I want you to be sure about your decision. It’s going to take a toll on you and your family. Think about that. Let’s meet later this week after you’ve had a few days to digest everything. Are you free on Thursday or Friday?”

  “I took the rest of the week off . . . with the exception of tomorrow morning.” The burden of being forced to work the next day only increased Jenna’s resentment.

  “Then call us after you get in touch with Walter. For what it’s worth, Nancy and I are so sorry this happened. It’s not fair.”

  “No,” said Jenna, “it’s not.”

  CHAPTER 55

  The early winter sky had grown dark by the time Jenna made it home. She opened the door and overheard Mia and Tom chatting in the kitchen. Both her husband and daughter stopped talking when she entered the room.

  Jenna looked raw, destroyed, and empty. Mia ran over to her mother. Tom approached them and cocooned his wife and child. Jenna held on to each of them tightly, as if they were her life preservers in a stormy sea. For close to a minute, no one made a sound. Finally, Mia, her eyes wet with sorrow, said, “Mommy, I’m so sorry.”

  Choking on her own tears, Jenna whispered, “Me too, baby.” It was all she could say.

  Tom sent Mia upstairs on a mission that would grant him a few uninterrupted minutes with Jenna. As soon as Mia was out of earshot, Jenna grabbed a bottle of beer from the refrigerator, took a large swig, and filled Tom in on her day. By the time the Reiners sat down for dinner, Jenna was well into her second beer. Oddly, she felt no calming effects from the alcohol – her hands continued to shake violently, her nerves were rattled, and her heart hammered in her chest.

  Jenna barely ate anything. She sat motionless at the table while Tom tried to keep a normal conversation going with Mia.

  Eventually, she said, “I’m going to go lay down for a while.”

  Grabbing another beer along the way, she plopped down on the couch, alone in the unlit family room. She was consumed by thoughts of the article, her attorneys, and talk of personal counsel.

  The ringing of the telephone caught her attention. Jenna heard Tom answer it from the kitchen and was instantly overcome with anxiety. What if it was a reporter? Jenna and Tom had not discussed screening calls, and she was not sure it would occur to him.

  “She’s busy right now. Could she call you back?” Tom’s words were followed by a long pause as he listened to the person on the other end.

  Whatever the unknown caller said to Tom, it must have been convincing because Jenna heard him say, “Uhm, okay. Just a minute.”

  Tom covered the receiver with his hand. Jenna looked up at him, shaking her head no.

  “It’s Katharine. She really wants to talk to you. She says she knows what you’re going through. Even if you don’t want to talk to her, she at the very least wants to hear your voice to make sure you’re okay. She sounds really concerned. Maybe you should ta
ke her call.”

  The last thing Jenna wanted was to speak with anybody, but it did not sound as if Katharine would take “no” for an answer. Jenna grabbed her beer and sat at one of the barstools in the kitchen. Tom took Mia into the other room, giving Jenna some privacy.

  “Hi, Katharine.”

  The alcohol was finally kicking in. To her own ears, Jenna’s speech sounded slurred, but she did not care. After what the Tribune printed for the world to see, having the Medical Staff President catch her drunk seemed like a non-issue to Jenna.

  “Jenna, are you okay? I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

  “At this point, I’m just numb. This has been, undeniably, one of the worst days of my life.”

  Katharine could hear the crack of a bottle being opened on Jenna’s end. Without judgment, she asked, “What are you doing to cope with all this?”

  “So far, I’ve been trying real hard to get drunk. The problem is I keep drinking, and I don’t feel anything. I was hoping I’d pass out by now, but it’s not working.”

  Katharine gathered by Jenna’s garbled speech that the alcohol was working better than her friend thought.

  “Okay, you’ve got to listen to me. I’ve been sued before. First piece of advice, stop drinking. It will only cloud your judgment and may even compromise your performance at work. Second thing, if you don’t have a primary care doctor, get one now. I have a female internist I’ve been seeing for years. If you want, I’ll call her tomorrow and get you in right away. You need a basic physical, get your labs checked, and get some meds to help you sleep. The next couple of months are going to put a huge strain on your health. You need someone qualified to help you through it.” She paused for a moment to allow Jenna to absorb her advice.

  Cautiously, Katharine asked, “Have you thought about seeing someone?”

  “You mean like a therapist?” asked Jenna.

  Katharine sensed Jenna’s reluctance.

  “Yes, Jenna, a therapist. Seeing one doesn’t mean you’re crazy. The amount of stress you’re under is something very few people face in their life. I’m not a psychiatrist, but to me you sound clinically depressed. I have this guy that I have seen off and on for years. He’s used to working with doctors, and he isn’t some lay-on-my-couch, psychobabble freak. His approach is very clinical.”